What You Want For Yourself

Let's say you've packed up a vehicle

enough supplies, clothes

and the special personal things you need

and you're driving somewhere

Let's say you're driving and thinking

Where should I go?

Let's say you are driving

and that you resolve to get to the bottom of it

Finally

after all these years

the body like a wet towel twisted dry

your body

always digging yourself out

Let's say you pull over and pee and get some coffee

Then put on music you can think to

perhaps its Glass's 1000 Airplanes on the Roof
or Arvo Pärt's Fur Alina

Let's say you have found yourself into some money

It's origin is nothing extreme

not the lottery

not inheritance

not a sudden rise to success or fame

Let's say you are driving away

taking a break

if that's what you are doing

from the build up of the everyday

from whatever you need to take a break from

Let's say you're free

not the freedom of political theorists or metaphysicians

but the freedom of ease

a consciousness of no commitments

no identity

Let's say you pull off the road and park

That you jump the fence

the stringy low metal and wood kind

ubiquitous to country lanes

Let's say you walk

quiet roaming hillsides

you walk them until you can be with yourself

and then you sit Indian style

near the shade of a tree

a tree you couldn't name

Let's say you are no one anymore

you have no relationships

aside from the one's you will into effect

Let's say you needn't make any moves

you can sit here on this hillside

there are no rules

the world is an open game

the blank page of the painter

Let's say you ask

What do you want for yourself?

You Say:
What do I want for myself

on this quiet roaming hillside

the pleasure of having no one to please

having no one to be

like a ginger vitality

an inner beaming

at my back