Sunday, February 15, 2015

Self Love, Sea Lust

Been walking for sometime
don't know why I'm here
I no longer remember

Longings and hunger and thirst
have made their way with me
entangled, overgrown
this is what I know

I browse old photos
recordings
stars of the lid
I look at her eyes
how she was touching me
I look for clues

Oh, I'm a cog
a billiard ball
foaming
over and over
ripping, pleading

Will the next person
who comes down the path
save me
steer me away from here?

But down this path
is vacancy
is sea lust
a container
for the craving
of oceanic solace
of destination

In the mirror of ponds
I see tired eyes
blued eyes
foreign
in the cold of night
I hear chattering of teeth
startlingly near
But no one
there is no one

If you wonder why I walk
it's because I've already sat
hung my head

And sitting is much worse
you lose more than you know
spin yourself knots
dirt in every crevice

At least with walk
you dull the nerves
distract the eye
keep status quo

Again, again
I find myself here
in this forest
like yesterday
like the day before that

And on these days
shivers and shakes move through
I hear them come out of me
feel them as if emanating
from some wound
and the day follows night
even if night doesn't end
in your head

Yes, there's the typical resistance
to spilling myself
but I'm alone
would like at least one friend
even it is has to be me

Perhaps I will draw a map
if I cannot get myself out
to the sea
I will at least work
care for this path
removing obstacles from it's flow
cleaning it
with salt love
that burns

Am I a phoenix
from these ashes?
How many ponds does it take
to clean a man?

Will you tell me
friend?
Won't you tell me

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