Getting Over the Hill

I’m awfully tired. It occurred to me to develop a few things. For one, I keep thinking I should realistically compose an explanation of what Harry Potter/Me would do after the Battle of Hogwarts. Go figure out what to do. Leaves everything and goes and tries to figure out what to do with himself. Wander around. It should be written minimally. It should grapple with emptiness (Buddhism) and filtering systems.
Blah; so I sometimes arrest development because I get caught up in getting over the hill – getting over the hill is that anxious, dumb, dead, give-up tendency to stop before the real flow happens. Its like your attempting to get back to the parking lot before the sun goes down – they’re going to lock this gate at sundown and your car will be locked in – and your friends walking slow and is all out of breath because you’ve been hiking for so long – he doesn’t hike much and is out of shape - and you know you could make it without your friend but you can’t tell your friend to hurry up because he’s already all out of breath and you’ve already expressed your concern and said that you think perhaps they will lock the gate and he says ‘that’s ridiculous’ in so many words but really your not so sure about it and various thought trajectories or images for action occur but it’s a tough call because so many dimensions present themselves. You just end up going with the stream ‘it will work itself out’. You go: fuck this trying to explain something I can’t get out right but can see. You go: if I try to get it out I will lose some of the subtlety. It won’t ever happen the way I need it to. Too much effort. You go: I’ll go do something quick. Its okay, though. So there is that orientation.